G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra (2009)

An elite military unit comprised of special operatives known as G.I. Joe, operating out of The Pit, takes on an evil organization led by a notorious arms dealer.


This was not "Gone With The Wind." It didn't pretend to be. It was awful, and it embraced it. No one could act, the dialogue could have been written by a 13-year old boy, and even the graphics lacked something. There was one scene I couldn't believe: a plane flies over a desert, and it looked half-finished. Where was the money going? Sienna Miller's skin-tight, bust-enhancing leather suits?

Ok, I may be being too harsh. It was an awesome toy commercial. It fed into fantasies; the women, the machines, everything was over the top and much more scientifically advanced than we actually are now.

Any relationships developed in the movie happened before the actual movie and were revealed in a series of flashbacks, so the movie didn't have to spend any time on them. They were assumptions.

I can't even write more about this movie. It was laughable. It wasn't screened for critics, and STILL got top dollar. Sad.

Rosemary's Baby (1968)

A young couple move into a new apartment, only to be surrounded by peculiar neighbors and occurrences. When the wife becomes mysteriously pregnant, paranoia over the safety of her unborn child begins controlling her life.

This was an amazing movie. It was chilling, subtle, and perfectly paced. From the first two minutes to the climatic ending, my emotions grew from immediate suspicion to full-blown horror. The reason this film is so terrifying is because it relies on a true-to-life atmosphere. There's no demons jumping out of every corner, no gore, and for the most of the movie, we just watch Rosemary in her apartment growing increasingly worried over her pregnancy. It's very relatable, with a few exceptions, of course. The acting is brilliant. Mia Farrow is excellent as Rosemary, a very young, very trusting individual whose state of mind begins to crumble. Her husband Guy (John Cassavetes) always creeped me out for some reason, but he serves his purpose in the movie. Ruth Gordon as the eccentric neighbor stole every scene she was in. She was funny, over-the-top and scary. She totally deserved that Oscar she got that year.

This is a disturbing movie. It is done so well it seems like it could really happen in any of the old apartment buildings anywhere. Appearances are deceiving. To make matters even MORE disturbing, it was only another year till Roman Polanski's wife Sharon Tate and his unborn baby were brutally murdered by Charles Manson's family. Watch the movie with a firm grip on reality and truth. There is dark power in the world, yes, but the power of good is infinitely stronger.

Some Like It Hot (1959)

When two musicians witness a mob hit, they flee the state in an all female band disguised as women, but further complications set in.

I wasn't overly excited about seeing this movie, I thought it would be just a bizarre vehicle for Marilyn Monroe's fading star, but one Blade Runner and three Alien movies later, it was refreshing to watch a black-and-white comedy starring the hilarious Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis. Marilyn is gorgeous in this, no doubt, but her Sugar Kane is not the focus of the film. It's all about Tony and Jack. The plot is classic and has been rehashed several times in Tootsie, Victor/Victoria, and in Nia Vardalos' atrocity Connie and Carla, but Some Like It Hot is the standard. The mobsters are appropriately cartoonish and Curtis' impersonation of a millionaire/Cary Grant was hysterical to me. It's all so gloriously sexist in a cozy, 1950's sort of way, with "girl musicians" ogled by aging millionaires and the two cross-dressing stars' cracks at their enjoyable situation. While the movie is all about Tony and Jack, seeing Marilyn Monroe as the bimbo-ish Sugar made me smile. She had such a glow about her; it was hard to think that three years later, she would be dead. In a nutshell, this movie is funny, jazzy, naughty and, of course, HOT.

Alien (1979)

A mining ship, investigating a suspected SOS, lands on a distant planet. The crew discovers some strange creatures and investigates with horrifying results.

Within the last two days, I've seen 3 of the 4 "Alien" movies, and this first one is, by far, the best one. Ridley Scott is a genius. I reviewed his "Blade Runner" earlier this month, and I can definitely see his fingerprint on "Alien." The lighting is dark, lit only by the pulsing electric bulbs of an ore carrier ship, and all of the characters are drenched in sweat for the majority of the movie. The soundtrack is perfect for the suspense the movie wants to create, and the jerky/wandering camera angles are guaranteed to make you sit at the edge of your sweat gripping a blanket to your chin. This movie is a must-see for anyone interested in sci-fi; it really turned the genre upside down and set the standard for sci-fi horror for decades.

I love Sigourney Weaver as Ellen Ripley, she says exactly what everyone would say in the situations she ends up in, and she's so street-smart, it's painful to watch anyone question her opinion on something. I watched the movies just to see what happens to her (though I wish now I would have just stopped after 'Aliens,' the third one was just awful, and I'm sure "Resurrection" is even worse.) The supporting actors are excellent, that's what made this movie really work for me, they spent time on every detail, from special effects to acting to score, it wasn't just some movie you see "for the graphics."

It's scary, not gonna lie. There's swearing and the kinds of disgusting images a lot of people aren't comfortable with. If you saw "Pan's Labyrinth" and were ok, then this will be fine, too. If you had nightmares about Pan, then don't see Alien. It's the kind of movie that sticks in your mind. I had dreams about it, not nightmares, but I was still thinking about Ripley and Jones and a creeping terror that attacks you from the inside....

Blade Runner (1982)

In the year 2019, genetic engineers have created "replicants," better versions of humans, but upon losing control of them, made them illegal on earth. Decker, a blade runner, is sent to track down four escaped replicants who are searching for their creator.

It's hard to describe this movie. It's...weird, quite frankly, but so many layers of weird, it's incredible. The visuals are astounding for 1982, and I loved the combination of a futuristic city matched with grunge like downtown Chicago and ambience like Chinatown. Everything is dirty, you can almost smell the exhaust fumes and rain, the sweat on a stripper's body, blood...everything is organic and natural. The acting is almost non-existent, nothing really amazing, but that's what I liked. The setting and plot is so over the top, if the acting matched, it'd be just another cheesy sci-fi flick. The music fits perfectly, it's either strains of synth or almost Indian sounding beats as our characters push their way through crowds of raincoats and advertisement lights. It's understandable why a lot of people didn't "get" this movie when it came out. It was ahead of its time.

Dr. Strangelove (1964)

An insane general starts a process to nuclear holocaust that a war room of politicians and generals frantically try to stop.

Ok, apparently this is a movie of 100 laughs. I thought it was amusing, but not exactly uproariously funny. It was a masterpiece for its time, a time capsule, if you will. Peter Sellers is very funny, however, I love how he can play three characters so different; I knew he played three, but I didn't even realize he was the President. George C. Scott was hilarious, I loved how worked up he got, with that insanely harsh voice and crazy smile. It's a perfect satire, combining true terror of nuclear war with humor, only Stanley Kubrick could pull that off. It's the perfect length at barely over an hour and a half, and it goes back and forth between the confines of the war room and a plane headed for inevitable destruction just often enough to keep a restless audience interested. Kids my age (18+) might not get this movie, but if they're informed about the context of the film, it's really interesting to see and Peter Sellers' acting is timeless.

North by Northwest (1959)

An advertising man is caught in the middle of an FBI case when he is mistakenly taken for a spy by mysterious and threatening strangers. His situation becomes even more dangerous when he is accused of murdering a UN official and is seduced by a beautiful woman who is very interested in his plight.


I really don't understand why this is considered one of the best movies ever made, it's certainly not Alfred Hitchcock's greatest works. Cary Grant plays a man much younger than himself and his acting style is just so over-the-top and melodramatic it's hard to really feel for him. James Stewart in his glorious naturalness would have been better. The plot, though interesting, drags on for way too long. The movie reaches over two hours, leaving lots of room for the editing knife to hack out some ridiculous sexual dialogue between Eva Marie Saint and Cary Grant. It was like a less interesting James Bond movie, with a beautiful woman inexplicably falling in love with our hero half-hour after meeting. Cary Grant, though almost constantly in the hands of death, still finds time to engage in biting remarks to the gruff silence of his enemies. This film reminded me of "The Man Who Knew Too Much," which has Doris Day singing that song again and again and again: not that great.